Whenever my house is dirty I have a strong dislike for myself. I feel dirty and filthy even if I shower every day and keep myself clean from head to toe. I don't keep my house clean, not even when the floor is dirty and clutter is everywhere. I push it off from one day to the next day, and the next until finally I have reached my limits and I grab the cleaning supplies and clean with a vengeance.
My Mom taught us girls well in keeping the home clean. It was unheard in skipping even one week of the weekly cleaning. Mom never let us dust furniture with a dry dust cloth. It was always a pail of warm water and wet rag. The kitchen, dining room and living room were mopped every week. My Mom was famous and well known for her spotless house. And not only for her house but also for her twelve children. We were poor but we were always clean.
Then what happened that I am such a poor housekeeper? I know well when it started, where I started slipping in my housecleaning. My first introduction to a house with dust bunnies all over the place was when I visited in Aylmer Ontario. The girls I was staying with, well their dust bunnies ran all over the place, up and down the hallways, in and out of each bedroom and out into the kitchen corners. I remember that visit just about got the best of me. But that time it was just a visit and I returned to our spotless house in Ohio.
But about two years later I moved up to Aylmer and lived with the girls. The three of us took turns doing the weekly cleaning. When it was my turn to clean, I cleaned until the house was clean all except their bedrooms. When it was their turn to do the weekly cleaning they just gave the kitchen a 'lick and a promise'. The 'lick' was swoosh the broom through and a 'promise' to do better the next time. They knew the following week I would do a complete cleaning again and in the meantime they lavished me with praise for doing such a good job of cleaning. As they praised me I kept wondering why they don't buckle down and do a better job of catching the dust bunnies? But I was naive and loved their praise, I flourished in it and even wallowed in it, until... until I began to realize they are flattering me and taking advantage of me. Then I decided if they can live in a filthy house, so can I. And so I quit caring and slacked off in my weekly cleaning. This took place more than 35 years ago. I seemingly can't get back to the weekly cleaning habits Mom taught us girls, but I do have a clean house tonight and I like myself. I feel good about myself.
I am just stating facts and am not blaming them for my cleaning habits. It was my choice. I chose to quit caring. I chose to quit doing the weekly cleaning like we had done at home.